September 24, 2011

What to do...

Beautiful sunrise...


I recently had a close friend tell me that our friendship was causing them heartache. Now I'm afraid that our lifelong friendship is slipping through my fingers. I'm so unsure of what I should do to prevent this. Should I come on strong and say what's on my mind. Or back off and let it go. Well, it has been causing me confusion and I feel like my heart is breaking. To make things worse, I've asked if I can have the opportunity to speak my mind and I have yet to receive a reply. The more time that goes by, the more I think that I will never get a response. I don't want to lose a friend because I did nothing. We've been friends since I was 16 years old. What is causing the heartache for my friend? That we are too close? That we have a history together and are connected to one another? If I do as I'm told and keep the friendship as superficial as possible, will that bring more heartache for me and create the beginning to the end of a our friendship? I've been mulling this over. I've written an 8 page letter to my friend (that I will never mail.) and nothing has helped ease my mind. What to do? Should I simply allow the inevitable? Funny thing is that I need to feel the connection to this someone that I have known and cared for, for so long. It's like the friendship is a part of me. And the thought of losing that relationship is like losing a part of myself. I'm thinking that I should respect my friends request and put distance between us. After all, if our friendship is causing problems for them, then I should do what I can to ease that pain- right? As a friend the right thing to do is to let go of the matter no matter how much it hurts me. My only wish is that I could have the opportunity to speak of what is in my heart. It's a difficult situation and I need to work on letting this go.

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