September 24, 2011

What to do...

Beautiful sunrise...


I recently had a close friend tell me that our friendship was causing them heartache. Now I'm afraid that our lifelong friendship is slipping through my fingers. I'm so unsure of what I should do to prevent this. Should I come on strong and say what's on my mind. Or back off and let it go. Well, it has been causing me confusion and I feel like my heart is breaking. To make things worse, I've asked if I can have the opportunity to speak my mind and I have yet to receive a reply. The more time that goes by, the more I think that I will never get a response. I don't want to lose a friend because I did nothing. We've been friends since I was 16 years old. What is causing the heartache for my friend? That we are too close? That we have a history together and are connected to one another? If I do as I'm told and keep the friendship as superficial as possible, will that bring more heartache for me and create the beginning to the end of a our friendship? I've been mulling this over. I've written an 8 page letter to my friend (that I will never mail.) and nothing has helped ease my mind. What to do? Should I simply allow the inevitable? Funny thing is that I need to feel the connection to this someone that I have known and cared for, for so long. It's like the friendship is a part of me. And the thought of losing that relationship is like losing a part of myself. I'm thinking that I should respect my friends request and put distance between us. After all, if our friendship is causing problems for them, then I should do what I can to ease that pain- right? As a friend the right thing to do is to let go of the matter no matter how much it hurts me. My only wish is that I could have the opportunity to speak of what is in my heart. It's a difficult situation and I need to work on letting this go.

2 comments:

  1. What a difficult situation you find yourself in!. ..and difficult on the 'outside' to say what you should do...after all, it is said that deep down we really know the answer ourselves. You say you have written an 8 page letter that you will never post, but I think that in less than 8 pages you have said what you feel in this post...sorry I cannot truly help, I would so like to, but hope you find your answer and your friendship will remain intact....all the best.

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  2. Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment. And thank you for reminding me that we all have the answers to our questions deep inside. You've given me a wonderful gift. Most appreciated!!

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